Caffeinated BABE? Really?

According to the Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/), the number one definition for
Caffeinated is:  "To be wired on caffeine.  Have a caffeine buzz."
Babe is:  "1.endearing term. 2. adjective used to describe a good looking girl, sometimes describes guys."

So how did I come to call my blog "Caffeinated Babe"? 

Here's some background:  I had my first baby in August 2000.  Unfortunately, my "babe" status had been in decline for a good five years before that (red-hot, sexy positions as pre-school teacher and veterinary receptionist... FYI, when you take a position which requires that you deal with fecal matter daily, well...you don't see Heidi Klum cleaning kitty litter in her lingerie).  Becoming the mother of a newborn actually improved my babe status there, for a short time.  Alas...the erratic sleep patterns, eating poptarts to stay conscious, two more babies, more poptarts, hallucinatory sleep patterns, haphazard bathing habits, preschool drop-offs, really bad hair (as a result of my moody color choices in the hair color aisle at Walmart)...all factors contributing to an increasingly frumpy, decidedly UNBABE-like demeanor.

Last year, though, something quite remarkable happened.  My youngest child, Luke, started going to pre-school three days a week.  By the grace of God, he also started sleeping through the night, more or less.  Slowly, so slowly, my sanity and a speck of my SELF (by this I mean original thoughts not having to do with bare bones survival) began to return to me.  I found I could bathe 5-6 times a week.  Further, I could apply makeup 3-4 times a week.  Occasionally, I could engage in a conversation and not lose my train of thought.  Well, maybe only lose it 3-4 times in the one conversation.  Believe me, Heidi's talent scouts were not knocking down my door (ask anyone in the car line at our school), but tiny, baby steps were happening. 

Last spring, there was an Open House at our little Montessori school.  In preparation, I had: a) bathed; b) applied makeup;  and c) worn a dress made of infinitely flattering material.  One of my grooviest friends (also the chick responsible for getting me hooked on Facebook...not to name names, Shannon...you know who you are) took an impromptu picture of me at said Open House.  There is an accidental shaft of light shining from behind me in the picture, and my photographer called the photograph "Illuminated Babe".  God bless her, that was one of the nicest things anyone had said/written/uttered about me in the previous decade (not counting, of course, my fiercely loyal husband, whose brain has been just as addled as mine during these past years).  Through snickering wordplay, "Illuminated Babe" (d)evolved into "Caffeinated Babe", and we all still get a good giggle from it around here.

So.  There you have it...how I became the Caffeinated Babe--at least in cyberspace.  Now, if I could just bring the whole "babe" thing to the three dimensional reality...  :-D 
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1009650&l=daa142ed27&id=1467077452

Over the river, into the woods...

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!!!

Yes, I probably should be doing something besides blogging at this instant.  Scarily, all children are bathed and dressed, my pies and green bean casserole are bagged up in their thermally protected bags and we are almost ready to go.  Which probably means that someone will either fall in a mud puddle or pee in their pants momentarily.

In the interim, this is just to say--I am glad to have a fantastic family to visit with today, three healthy (albeit slightly snotty) children, and kind and generous husband.  I am not sitting with a sick family member in the hospital nor am I nursing a spectacular hangover.   

I am blessed in all the ways that people who have everything they need never truly notice.  May your year ahead be blessed in kind.  And if you can't have the entire year, go for the day!

What do you do all day?

So.  About six weeks ago, I started taking a class at this very cool writing center in Norfolk.  The class in itself is a blog topic for me, but for our purposes here today, let me just say I LOVE IT!  From my amateur perspective, the "Beginning Fiction Writing" class:  there is not a dud writer among us, everyone is just a little whacked out and the teacher is (in addition to being a fiercely talented, published author) more like a minister of creative essence than a writing instructor. 
Alas...
I digress.

One of my fellow students in the class is a stay-at-home dad.  After class one afternoon, we were standing around the parking lot, discussing how fabulous Montessori education is (his son is in Montessori as well), engaging in general chit-chat.  Here's the question that stumped me:

"What do you do all day?"

Well shit, I thought.  When the stay-at-home moms and I chit-chat, we all roll our eyes conspiratorially and immediately begin our lists of things we should be doing, have done, won't ever be doing, etc, ad nauseum.

Cleverly, I replied, "I don't know."

At which point, my friend says, also quite cleverly, "You don't know what you do all day?"

Here's the thing:  I don't know what I do all day.  I am temperamental (polite word for moody or flaky) and have an unfortunate disdain for scheduling.  Probably because I suck at it.  Some days, I might clean some obscure corner of my kitchen, or wash and fold laundry. 

More often, I drop my children at school (45 minute round trip) and then explore Walmart.  Consumerism is a most excellent drug...I can enjoy ten minutes of choosing lunch meat for the onerous lunches I make for the kidlets.   It's way more fun to choose the lunch meat than it is to make the fucking sandwiches.  Usually by the time I have finished inspecting Walmart (do they have a new nail polish color I MUST have?) and get my gatherings back home, it's lunchish time.  Hell, I'm ready for a nap.

Most accomplished house goddesses (or gods, I can't forget my stay-at-home men friends) are having palpitations as they read the previous paragraph.  They have schedules and do productive things like packing their childrens' lunches the night before!  Their childrens' socks are clean, matched and in drawers.  My children always have clean socks:  they just have to leap into a mountain of clean laundry to find them!  I consider it my own version of character building.  Plus, now they will have plenty to share with their therapists one day.

The point is--I have no freaking idea where my days go.  My children are mostly clean, mostly happy and are capable of thoughtful conversation (well, except the 3 year old, who is fond of hurling trucks in lieu of conversation--everyone has their limits).  I'm sure I could perform adequately if there were some bitchy house inspector who checked my work daily--so far , the health inspectors haven't been summoned, so I'm on my own.

I read a lot of good books, have a lot of good conversations and can take my family members to doctor's appointments if need be. 

Will this hold up on a resume, do you think?

I'll keep you posted!  :-)

Let's go.

Apologies in advance--I am completely new to Bloggering and have not yet figured out how to post any kind of picture.  This sucks for you, who may need some visual stimulation here, soon. 

Basically, my life is mind-numbingly dull and fascinating all at once.  It seems only fair to spread the love, n'est pas? 

I am a "stay at home mom", which is deceptive.  You might think that I spend my days doing my beautiful family's laundry, while preparing wholesome, nutritious meals to sustain us physically as well as spiritually.  Yep.  Notsomuch.  And, unless I am zapped by aliens or suffer a traumatic brain injury, not likely.

In truth, I am more of a full-time piddler.  Hence, my deep and abiding love affair with Facebook, coffee, suspenseful television shows, and good books that don't require me to keep notes to follow the plot lines. 
I am a terrible gossip and don't have to know you to want your life story.

I am hoping that this blog will inspire other full-time piddlers and story tellers along the way. 

C'mon.  Let's go.  The couch is waiting.